


father, tell me, do we get what we deserve?

by writerblender



Series: looking too closely [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, shocking !!, we find out that neil is an even bigger asshole than before !!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-17 01:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13648272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerblender/pseuds/writerblender
Summary: "Bad man," Jane whispers.When Billy looks down to see who she's pointing to, his blood goes cold instantly.[or, how billy reaches the final straw with the man who calls himself his father]





	father, tell me, do we get what we deserve?

It happens while they're taking a break from their usual reading tutoring sessions.

Billy is looking at the pictures in the few frames that decorate the cabin. He recognizes the ones of Jane and her group of nerd friends. Some of them are from the Snowball, which Billy only recognizes because he was forced to drive Max there. There's a picture of her and the Wheeler kid and one where she and Max are hugging, both grinning widely. It makes Billy's chest warm, seeing the two of them so happy together. The next picture is one he doesn't recognize; it's of a blonde woman beaming at the camera.

"Mama," Jane whispers and Billy nearly jumps out of his own skin. He hadn't even heard her come up behind him; when he looks down at her, she smiles and takes a slurp of the full glass of chocolate milk she's clutching in both hands.

"Yours?" Billy replies once his heart rate slows.

Jane nods, taking another sip. "Mama?" She repeats softly, looking over from the picture to him with wide eyes.

"My Mama's gone, Jane," Billy answers quickly.

"Lie," Jane says almost instantly. When Billy looks down at her in surprise, her gaze is sharp. "Not gone."

Billy's face scrunches up in confusion. He's about to explain the logistics of death to a child -- a conversation he  _never_  thought he would have -- when Jane reaches out, her finger bumping against the necklace on his chest.

"Not gone."

...

The next day, Billy brings a small shoebox to Hopper's cabin instead of a new Dr. Seuss book.

Jane asks him what's in it as soon as she has the door open. Her first guess, before he can even answer, is a small animal. She's disappointed for only a few moments that he hasn't brought her another companion before he tells her that it's all he has left of his Mama. It's then that the curious (and somewhat pleased) look returns to her face, potential wild animal already forgotten.

They sit down on the floor next to the couch and Billy carefully lifts the lid of the shoebox.

The first thing that Jane notices is the small bunny stuffed animal that is wedged into the box. She gasps, hand reaching out towards it instantly. She freezes, fingers only centimeters from the worn fabric, when she sees Billy's face. He looks pained, as if the act of opening the box alone has physically injured him. Instead, she slowly moves her hand from the stuffed animal to Billy's. She squeezes his fingers gently, causing him to finally meet her gaze.

"Had one," she says, using her free hand to point to the bunny. "Lost it." Her mouth twists as she thinks of Kali and the trip to find her sister. "Looking for Mama."

Billy smiles at her sadly, moving for the first time since he opened the shoebox. He reaches down, carefully taking the stuffed animal out of its box and placing it next to Jane on the ground. "My... mom got it when I was a baby. I haven't... You can probably take care of him better than I can. If you... want to, I mean."

Jane nods enthusiastically, grabbing the animal quickly and holding it tightly to her chest. "Safe with me."

Billy reaches out, ruffling her curls gently and causing them both to smile. There's a moment of silence between them before Jane speaks again.

"Next!"

...

Things fall apart shortly after.

It's all because of a picture. Billy's showing her the few photographs he managed to snatch from frames, stored away in boxes in their basement, before they abandoned the house he grew up in in California. Jane's taken a delight in the pictures of Billy as a baby and toddler. The first picture, his mother holding him in the hospital when he was just hours old, had silenced Jane almost instantly.

She'd reached out, fingers delicate as she brushed over the image of Billy's mother. "Pretty," was all she had whispered and Billy was afraid he wouldn't be able to swallow the sob lodged in his throat if he responded.

It happens a few pictures later.

Jane picks up a photograph of Billy, who can't be any older than three, his mother, and his father at the beach. His mother is beaming at the camera, holding onto Billy's hands as she eases his feet into the ocean water. Even his father is smiling in that picture; Billy knows that this picture must have been taken only months before his mom got sick -- that is, before Neil turned into the monster he is now.

Jane studies Billy and his mother, a soft smile on her face. It's when her gaze flickers to Neil that her eyes widen in horror. Her fingers immediately clench around the picture, crushing it in her grip.

"Jane?" Billy asks instantly. The part of him worried about saving the photo is immediately swallowed by his concern for her when she speaks.

"Bad man," Jane says gravely, gaze flickering from him to the picture of Neil. Her lower lip wobbles and her grip on his old stuffed animal tightens. "Bad man. Bad man."

Billy's frozen completely, not sure what he's supposed to do, when Jane begins to cry. He knows that she knows Neil's hurt him; she's sent him looks that could kill after bad nights when Hopper's tried to help and Billy's refused. He's not sure what's going on but once Jane hiccups on a sob, he immediately knows what to do.

He reaches forward to put a comforting hand on her shoulder when she rushes forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his jacket as she continues to cry. "Bad man," she hiccups. "Hurt me."

Billy doesn't move for a moment, letting her hold onto him for only seconds before he springs into action. He pulls her close to him, placing a calming hand on her back and whispering whatever calm assurances he can think of to her.

...

Billy's blood runs cold for the second time that day when he sees Hopper's reaction to Jane's statement.

"Papa," Jane says coolly when Hopper asks her to elaborate on what she's told Billy earlier. She's seated on the couch by herself, clutching her newest stuffed animal to her chest tightly.

"You're saying this man is Papa?" Hopper holds up the bent, wrinkled picture of Neil and Jane winces, looking away from it quickly. Billy's heart clenches painfully in his chest.

Jane shakes her head. "Friend."

"Papa's friend?" Hopper offers and Jane jerkily nods her head. Hopper takes it as a sign to continue. "Did he work at the lab, Jane?"

Jane nods again. "Hurt me when I was bad."

Billy's glad he's sitting when he hears the news. He thinks, if he was standing, his legs would have given out right underneath him. He's used to his father taking out his rage on him; he's come to terms with the years of abuse he's endured. He's only managed to do so knowing that as long as he's suffered, no one else would. If he was beaten at the hands of his own father, Neil would never touch Max. She'd have her own childhood, free from the trauma of physical abuse by her parents.

But the thought that his father's been doing this to other children; that the little girl in front of him has experienced the same abuse - if not _worse_ \- as him is unimaginable. The thought that Neil's put his hands on her -- _hurt_ her -- makes him sick. It makes him see red. It makes him want to floor the gas pedal until he's home and kill the man the second he walks through the front door.

"Jesus Christ," Hopper mumbles from above him and Billy can only manage a hollow, cynical laugh in response.

...

Hopper's in the kitchen, making a pot of coffee for them and boiling water for Jane's hot chocolate. Neither of them really have the heart to tell her  _no_ now.

Billy leaves Jane's side with a ruffle to her hair and a promise to be back before the commercial break during her soaps are over.

"Phone's down the hall," Hopper says without turning around from where he's facing the stove. "Do you need Harrington's number or do you have it already?"

...

Steve picks up on the third ring.

"How fast can you make it to Hopper's cabin?" Billy asks before Steve can get a word out.

"Billy?" Steve sounds confused. Billy supposes he would be; he's not explaining much. He doesn't have the time -- he thinks if he tries to now, he'll finally break down himself and he can't afford that now. Jane's expecting him back on the couch soon.

"Harrington," Billy snaps back. "Just give me a straight answer."

"Twenty minutes, probably?" Steve replies. "What's going on? Are you okay? Is somebody hurt? Is...?"

Billy cuts him off before he can worry himself any further. "I'm fine. Everyone's fine. Jane's just... said some stuff that's spooked us the fuck out and I'm about to fucking lose it so if you could get here, that'd be  _really_  fucking great."

"Is it the Gate? It's not..." Billy can hear the panic creeping up in Steve's voice, remembers the night terrors and his quick, nervous gaze that stuck around long after Jane closed the Gate.

"No."

"No monsters?"

 _No_ , Billy thinks.  _Just one_.

...

By the time Steve gets there, Jane has fallen asleep on the couch, pressed into Billy's side. She has her head buried in his jacket, still clutching his stuffed animal in her arms. She'd looked at him earlier for only seconds before settling on a name for the bunny. "Mary," was all she'd whispered and Billy didn't have to guess that she'd found the name with her powers. There's no other way she could have known one with such importance to him. He has a protective arm wrapped around her, finally looking up from her when Steve comes inside the cabin.

Steve doesn't say a word, just walks over to Billy and kneels in front of him, taking one of Billy's trembling hands in both of his. They've been here before; it's becoming too familiar of a routine for them.

Billy squeezes Steve's fingers weakly. "Chief?" He says softly, causing Hopper to look up from where he's seated at the small kitchen table, pouring over paperwork he's collected about the lab. Neil's been careful; never used his real name whilst in the lab but not cautious enough. He's left behind fingerprints and Hopper's determined to find them, one way or another.

"Yeah, kid?"

Billy runs a hand through Jane's curls, rubbing her back as she makes a distressed noise in her sleep. He prays to whatever higher being is up there that she's not having nightmares about the monster that's living in his home. "Remember that time you offered that police report? Said I could file it against my dad?"

Steve squeezes Billy's hand tightly and Billy's never been more thankful to have something to hold on to, to keep him steady.

"Yeah, I remember."

Billy lets out a shaky breath, meeting Steve's gaze. He must looked terrified, he thinks. Steve's face doesn't give any indication of it; he just smiles at him and reaches up, brushing one of Billy's curls from his face. Normally, he'd be embarrassed at the public display of affection in front of Hopper. Fortunately for him, these aren't normal circumstances. After all, he's about to willingly send his father to jail for potentially the rest of his life.

"I think I'm ready to make that statement now."

...

Several hours and many pieces of paperwork later, Hopper's off to the police station to officially file the report and to the Hargrove household to make the arrest himself.

In the cabin, the TV is back on, the low hum of voices a welcome distraction for the three kids still inside. Steve's now seated on the couch as well, the only one remaining upright. Billy's pressed up against his side, using the other man as a crutch as he shakes. Jane's awake, knees curled up to her chest as she watches the TV intently, mouthing along the words to the show that's currently airing. She refuses to let go of Billy's hand.

Billy's not sure what's going to happen next; he doesn't know what will happen to Susan or Max. He doesn't know if Neil will even stay in prison all that long -- despite Hopper telling him that the filed report is  _more_ than enough information to put him away for years. He doesn't know what to tell Steve and even how to speak to Jane, especially now that he knows their trauma is  _much_  more mutual than they originally thought. He doesn't know what's going to happen next.

What he does know, as Jane giggles at the latest line of TV and smiles up at him, face still warm and bright despite what's happened to her, and squeezes his hand; as Steve leans down, wrapping an arm around Billy's shoulders to pull him closer and pressing his lips against Billy's temple, that maybe -- just  _maybe --_ he can finally say that things will be okay and  _actually_ mean it.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this makes sense because this idea came to me while i was crying in a hospital waiting room with a 102 fever, severe dehydration, and the flu. even near death, billy hargrove is all i can think about.
> 
> wanna talk about this friendship that i so love and adore? hmu on tumblr @ wndasmaximoffs
> 
> kudos and comments leave my household plants watered and stomach fed as a broke college student.
> 
> title comes from kaleo's 'way down we go'


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